EP2: If They Wanted To, They Would

This episode of “Bring Something to the Table” kicks off with unexpected comedy as Shelby's dog decides to make a noisy cameo, setting the mood for a session of raw, unfiltered conversation on cosmetic procedures, relationships, and personal growth.

 

The duo shares personal stories about their experiences with cosmetic treatments like Dysport and fillers. They open up about the pains, the gains, and the judgments they face, sharing their reasons for choosing these enhancements and the importance of doing what feels right for oneself. It's a candid discussion on the pressures of looking good in a society that often values appearance over authenticity.

 

Tackling relationships, Shelby challenges this often-heard piece of relationship advice: “If they want to, they will.” She argues that it is overly simplistic and lacks empathy. Together, they unpack how this phrase can lead to judgment and withdrawal in relationships, emphasizing the importance of continuous communication and deeper empathy in relationships. They touch on how understanding each other's love languages can shape stronger connections.

 

As they reflect on personal growth, Shelby and Leslie delve into the power of standing up for one's beliefs and choices. Inspired by Glennon Doyle's insights in “Untamed,” they discuss how expressing oneself honestly can act as a natural filter, highlighting the importance of not disappointing oneself to please others.

 

Shelby and Leslie share a heartfelt reminder about the beauty of life's messiness and the value of shared experiences. They encourage embracing the chaos, connecting authentically, and assure us that there’s always room at the table!

 

Quotes

• “Your love language might be an act of service, but somebody might not know how to do that because they like gifts, for example. But if the person's evolved enough, then they will understand that. And they want to do that for you because that makes you feel loved. It's a warm reciprocal relationship at that point. If you don't know your love languages, that's an important thing to think about.” (15:04 | Leslie Beck & Shelby Anderson)
• “You take things personally, but this person doesn't know how to receive your love because you're giving it in a way that they don't need. They need it in a different way and you just have to talk about it. But that takes time. Like a 25-year-old is not necessarily going to be able to know and express that even maybe at 27. I know. I was drunk in my twenties. I was drunk most of my twenties and so self-absorbed, but not in a way that was conducive to personal growth.” (16:24 | Shelby Anderson & Leslie Beck)
• “If they're not going to contact you after a date, then you don't want that person in your life. If they wanted to, then they would make the effort. In a relationship, your partner can't cover all the buckets. That's why we have different friendships.” (23:08 | Leslie Beck)
• “We're learning that the people that we pleased, the people that we made ourselves uncomfortable to make them comfortable, we're now learning those aren't the people we want in our lives. And when we do speak our truth, they go away. So it's like they're not bringing anything to the table. We don't always bring stuff to the table, but we're trying to be more aware of that. Yes, I think that's true. I think it is finding our own truth. Because when you are constantly giving pieces of yourself away to please other people, you have health issues. You don't like yourself, you feel this anxiety, your truth is missing, and you can feel it in your heart.” (29:52 | Shelby Anderson & Leslie Beck) 

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